Yes, I consider myself to be a fairly creative individual; forever seeking peace and inspiration and so forth. But I cannot escape the occasional funk, which is what I find myself in right now. In the series TrueBlood Tara's mom refers to alcohol as demon water (or something to that affect). Feelings of being overwhelmed are my own personal demon water. I wish I could bottle it up and pour it down the toilet - an exorcism of the negativity brewing inside of me.
I am keenly aware of all that I COULD do to be my own saving grace. Yoga, meditation, writing, dancing, reading a book, or practicing the art of doing absolutely nothing. But as I look around me at my toy-cluttered environment and the mountains of laundry or realize that I need to pay bills, return emails and phone calls and prepare for my son's birthday party my spirit literally shuts down. The off switch has been flipped. Instead of tackling any piece of the to-do list, and thus moving towards productivity I do NOTHING. Well, unless you call wallowing in self-pity SOMETHING.
*Sigh* I will stop with the melodramatics now. I guess I did turn the channel just by sitting down and hammering out the thoughts. I'm now settled in to the "Get your ass up and do something channel." Those of you who are reading my rambling thoughts, I love you for your dedication to listening and am eternally grateful for you handing me the remote. XOXOXO
Thursday, July 16, 2009
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