Suffocating in domestic and corproate frustration...

Today, and this week in general, I've found myself acutely aware of my environment, my creativity and life in general. Poems seem to flow out of me, song lyrics vibrate through my body and touch me at the very core, dances are freely choreographed in my mind. This heightened awareness became crystal clear as I was riding along today and witnessed the fading sun accompanied by the clouds that one can only dream of laying upon and feeling their fluffiness. The sight of such beauty made tears form in my throat and my spirits soar. I thought of how the world is filled with so many variances of appreciation. Some fear sounding flighty at taking notice of the beauty of our Earth, some claim to appreciate God's gifts but really are just trying to fit in, and others take absolutely no notice. For those I feel most sorry.

While I welcome this state I find myself in this week I'm almost glad that the intensity of it isn't constant. It is so very difficult to live the life society has deemed appropriate for the working career mom and wife and also embrace the longing and need to get lost in my thoughts and creativity. It is grueling to focus on a presentation of statistics when they seem so trivial in light of a God given desire to create. It is depressing to wash, fold and put away laundry when all I really want to do is let Yanni's Reflections of Passion inspire movement with my daughter. The daily routine of drop offs and pick-ups are overshadowed by the impulse to explore that opening in the trees just off the road I travel each day. It's tiring - fighting the urges and desire to just be.

It is now 9:37 pm, long past the hour when my kids should be in bed and I too should be prepared for the day ahead. But, in reality, I know that the night is just beginning for my unconventional family. It will be past midnight when our house rests completely and "not a creature is stirring." What can I say? The wife and mother who resides here wants to do it all, many times in one day, and I pull my family along for the ride. So, while other kids are dreaming of bouncing on those clouds I so admired this afternoon, mine are about to embark on one of mommy's crazy adventures. Tonight we will hold hands and dance in a circle; our soundtrack will be "What a Beautiful World."